Lost
by BaronessBlixen
Summary: Post-ep/mid-ep for 03x02: Emma and her mother have another talk. One-shot.


**A/N**: I wrote this right after 03x02 in the middle of the night. I just needed to get some feelings out. Hope you like.

* * *

Emma felt her mother's eyes on her. Mary Margaret (or Snow, or… mom?) stood in the back and just watched her. Deep down Emma felt that she wanted to come closer and fix this – fix her. That was part of who she was. While on this island they were all beginning to understand more things about themselves and each other. It was like a family trip gone wrong. There were painful, devastating things that they'd shoved deep inside their minds and hearts. Emma got out the map again and stared at the lines and places that had magically appeared. She traced them with her fingers. She was an orphan, but could she ever be anything else? The rustling sound announced someone coming closer. Without having to turn around, Emma knew it was Mary Margaret. She sat next to her and didn't say a word. That was new, Emma thought. She waited for her to voice her concerns, to give her advice or simply talk to her. She did neither of these things.

"I can't…" Emma didn't specify. She hadn't told anyone what Pan had said to her. The pain sat too deep. Like a thorn somewhere she couldn't reach. Henry had not forgiven her for giving him up all these years ago. How could she blame him? Since she hadn't forgiven her parents herself? They were with her now; always by her side and ready to save her from anything that befell her. Her father had definitely proven that. Still, she was who she was. And they were still peripheral figures in her life. As much as they tried to find a way in; as much as she tried to let her own walls down.

"You'll figure it out, honey. We'll figure it out." Emma's response was a sound caught between a huff and a laugh. Snow tried not to be hurt by it.

"What is it?"

"You calling me 'honey'. It's just so…" She didn't even know the word. Or she was scared to use it.

"Motherly?"

"Yeah…I guess."

"I know I have offered it several times, but if you want me to tell you anything about our lives… before… all you have to do is ask. I could tell you a story. You know, just to distract you if nothing else."

"I know Snow White's story," Emma admitted without looking at her. She kicked at some stray stones and the sound they made seemed as loud as an explosion. "I read the story as a child. I watched the Disney movie countless times." To Snow's greatest surprise, Emma giggled. It was a sound she didn't get to hear very often. It was new, it was exciting and she wished her daughter had more reasons to laugh. For a moment she wondered what her laughter had sounded like when she was still a child. Thinking about Emma's childhood was always painful; now even more so. She couldn't help but think about her small daughter crying in the middle of the night and no one there to comfort her. The pain knocked her in the chest and took her breath away. The giggle turned into a bitter laugh; happy memories were hard to find and they always came with a side dish of despair and disappointment.

"It's still so weird. When I was a kid, I often wanted to be part of those fairytales. I was waiting for someone – my parents – to appear out of nowhere and get me out of there. I thought if someone had written these stories, made those movies… I thought it had to exist. Then I grew up."

"You stopped believing."

"I guess Henry is like that, too," Emma went on, "Or he was like that. He always believed. He believed in me, in true love and in this strange family. He, too, will stop believing and…" Her throat constricted; her voice strangled. She felt her mother's hand on her own and it still felt so strange. Before she had accepted who this woman was, they'd shared such a beautiful friendship. It had flown out the window with the new found knowledge. Emma didn't know how to get it back; or what to feel. She never knew what to feel. Or _how_.

"You'll find him. We'll find him."

Emma stared straight ahead. There was nothing but darkness. The whole island was made of darkness and despair. And her son was somewhere out there – alone. She was running against time. At what point would Henry's belief shatter? Or had it shattered already? Feeling her mother's hand on her own, she was fully aware of how similar they were. Her parents had given her up in hope that she would live a wonderful life. They had sacrificed their happiness for her. Emma had done the same for Henry. Both had been wrong. In her mind these things made perfect sense; in her heart they didn't. Her heart had been abandoned for too long; it couldn't catch up. They had to get to Henry before he too lost his belief. His love.

"We'll find him." Emma tried the words as if they were her first ever. In order to find her son she had to rely on her parents' help. And their optimism. She took a deep breath and in a spur of a moment thing, in an awkward movement, she turned to hug Mary Margaret (Snow White and her mother). She closed her eyes and led herself be held.

**END**


End file.
